2. To fit in, you must wear either black, grey, or khaki. To really stand out, wear pastels.
3. Real men play softball
4. Everyone has a dog, and every dog is a black and white border collie.
5. On an intelligence scale of 1-10, where 10 is discovering string theory and 1 is drooling and eating library paste, Miami is a solid 2 (potty trained, can identify primary colors)
6. On a physical attractiveness scale of 1-10, where 10 is runway supermodel and 1 is making children point and scream, DC rates a 3 (that second head makes you look unique, baby).
7. Embassies of developing countries and war zones (Botswana, Haiti, Iraq) are infinitely more palatial than embassies of industrialized nations (Finland, Argentina, Scotland).
8. Menorahs and Stars of David are not out of place in Methodist churches.
9. "Go fly a kite" is a legitimate suggestion, not a put down.
10. The difference between gay men and straight men in DC is...uhhh...ummm...nevermind.
11. Happy hour is huge in this city, because the concept of "happy hour" necessitates that one has a job.
12. There are 632 days till when Bush is out of office.
