Fresh from the runways of the world's Intelligent Designers, we now have the latest trend: an Islamic creationist textbook authored by Harun Yahya of Turkey.

The textbook, weighing in at 12 pounds, is an 800-page, beautifully illustrated homage to the infallibility of God's hand in creating the world, and all of humankind as we know it. It also disparages the theory of evolution as inherently flawed, a "theory in crisis," because the fossils of our past are apparently identical to our present-day physiological makeup. This textbook, "Atlas of Creation," was sent to leading biology, biochemistry, medical, and genetics professors in the States. The international academic community quickly denounced it in the press as "a load of crap" (Kevin Padian, University of California, Berkeley) and "propaganda" (Armand de Ricqles, College de France).

Should we be worried? After all, isn't this guy just another in a long line of Islamic fundamentalist kooks, cut from from the same cloth as the Al Qaeda types? A textbook like this could never take root in our schools, our colleges, our institutions of higher learning. This is America, dammit. Land of the free, home of the secular.

Never say never. According to a 2000 poll by People for the American Way, 1 in 3 Americans believe that Creationism should be taught in schools as a scientific theory. These same people were responsible for the savvy re-branding of strict Creationism as "Intelligent Design," a school of thought that came under intense public scrutiny during Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District. Critical thinkers and reasonable citizens alike rejoiced in Judge John Jone's decision, which lambasted the Dover School District for the breathtaking inanity of their suit, and ordered a payment of $1 mill for legal fees and damages for teaching controversy.

The overall picture, however, looks grim. Under the right-wing Bush administration, the stem cell research bill has been vetoed twice, despite the fact that leading scientists have argued that the latter is indispensable for key medical advances. Under this same administration, a federal ban on partial birth abortion was upheld by the Supreme Court, citing legal precedents that are murky at best, and archaic at worst. What is the common denominator between these two issues? It is our government's shocking and consistent propensity to value religious ideology over the sanctity of human life. Forget the blanketed threat of Islamic creationists - millions of Americans today are suffering from diseases that would otherwise be alleviated by stem cell research. The effect on women's reproductive health has also been devastating. Now, thanks to the Supreme Court's deliberatly broad language, safe abortions taking place at 12-15 weeks have now been outlawed. For the first time since Roe. vs Wade, the Court has not provided any exception for womens' health in their decision. Creationism in classrooms, stem cell research vetoed, partial abortion banned - these issues point to a disturbing pattern of our failure to separate church and state, this time with dire consequences.

If you grew up believing in the same America that I did, the classic concept of separation of church and state was up there with the Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights, and the Constitution. Infallible, impeccable, and inalienable. Separation of church and state was something that we learned about in textbooks, a concept that was born when some angry English Baptists stood up to King James, or when dinosaurs roamed the earth, whichever came first. I didn't pay much attention. Then, as I got older, separation of church and state revolved around our First Amendment rights to burn flags and not have to say prayers in public schools. It didn't pertain to me. I didn't pay attention either. Today, failure to separate church and state is why people are suffering and dying, and why women are losing their constitutional right to choose.

You can bet I'm paying attention now.

The financial houses are abuzz with the latest gossip. "Whole Foods CEO, John Mackey has an alter ego!" "He blogged on Yahoo! Finance under a pseudonym and lambasted Wild Oats!" "The FTC case against Whole Foods has now gathered steam!"

No one seems to be asking the underlying question: Why the hell is the FTC trying to block the proposed acquisition of Wild Oats by Whole Foods? Are they really concerned about the possibility of Whole Foods having an unfair competitive advantage in the food and grocery industry? Or is this really about keeping the small fish small, so that the big boys - mainstream grocery store chains - can continue to dominate the landscape? This can't have anything to do with the fact that commercial farmers, who sell to large supermarkets, donate millions of dollars to political campaigns, can it? Why, this would make the FTC....the henchman of government and big business.

Believe it. It's happening.

John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods, is a self-described vegan and yoga-lover He is no stranger to the maverick label. However, the fact that Mackey shepherds a $5.5 billion a year Fortune 500 company, and has never contributed to either Democratic or Republican campaign coffers - that fact alone makes him an absolute freak. His libertarian ideals of free enterprise and empowerment management have no place in a country that is now driven by big business and partisan interests. Would it be folly to suggest that the FTC initiated antitrust proceedings against Whole Foods, to pander to the special interests of commercial farmers? Probably not, since the latter rely on mainstream supermarkets to distribute their products. Let's not be fooled: the issue at hand is not Whole Foods' potential monopoly in the grocery store arena. Even with the purchase of Wild Oats, Whole Food's market share pales in comparison to that of chain grocery stores. The real issue lies in this administration's dogged support of commercial farming, at the expense of small mom and pop growers.

A similarly alarming scenario played out in 2001, when the Bush administration vacated the antitrust lawsuit that the Clinton administration brought against Microsoft for unfair market practices. That year, Microsoft contributed close to $5 million - more than half of which went to the Republican party. Coincidence? I think not. Not two years later, CMP Media reported that Microsoft gained market share for its Windows operating system, despite competition from Linux and other open source operating systems.

Make no mistake, the message from the Bush administration to business owners is, "You must to Pay to Play."

And so, big business pays. They pay through their ears for lobbyists, special interest groups, and media spin doctors. They pay for the passage of legislation that will benefit them. They pay to retain their dominant position in the marketplace. Sadly, big business is the only entity that can afford this. Mom and pop owners, squeezed out and disenfranchised, are finding it harder and harder to keep afloat, much less grow.

We, in turn, have to pay the biggest price - an increasing lack of choices, and a shrinking array of products and services. In this beautiful, heterogeneous country that we call home, there is a shocking plague of homogeneity in what we see, eat, drink, and buy. It shows a lack of gumption and imagination. Worst of all, it keeps us fat, slow, and stupid - one chain at a time.

Yesterday afternoon, the White House announced that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby Jr was the recipient of a commutation from President Bush. Instead of spending 30 months in a jail cell, Scooter gets to return to his family. Minutes before the announcement, our unnamed sources at the White House intercepted a handwritten piece of correspondence from Bush to Scooter. Below is a reprint of this letter:

Dear Scooter,

Sorry it took me so long to write you again. I have been having a whole heap of fun here at my favorite place in the world, Camp David. Camp David is awesome! Have you been here before? I will ask my daddy if you can come visit. You'd love it! They don't have any big people with microphones here! We can swim and go tubing, and play ping pong!

Anyhow, Fat Cheney is very worried about you. He says that all this bad press is bad for the Republican party. Then he went on and on about "those liberal bastards at FBI and the commie press." He was turning very red in the face, so I got scared. I ran off and read "My Pet Goat" three times until I calmed down. I wanted to blow up another country just so I felt better, but daddy says what for, we have too much money in the bank already.

Well I sure miss you ol' buddy. The White House ain't the same without you. I can't understand a word of what these people are saying. I think even those interns with their stupid Wellesley diplomas are laughing at me. I'm getting sick and tired of the world saying that the Iraq war was a big mistake. Why?? Daddy's happy. Fat Cheney's happy. I guess I'd be happy too, if protesters would be quiet during my nappy time. The kids here don't like me anymore. Are you still grounded for that leak thing? Will you come back and play with me?? Pretty please??

Ok, I just talked to daddy. He says I can give you a "commutation." This means that I still don't forgive you and I still think what you did was very, very bad. But you don't have to go to jail! Yaay!! This means you can come over and we can play Mortal Kombat and pretend that they're Israelis and the Palestinians! Oh boy, this is turning out to be the best day, ever!

I gotta go now, buddy. Fat Cheney is at the door again. He's making me learn my times tables and the proper names of all the Big Important People of the World. He says he can't believe a world leader can be such a fucking retard. I guess he's still sore that I called Nelson Mandela "that black feller" last year. I got grounded for that and it wasn't fun.

Write soon, ok? BFF (remember? Best Friends Forever!)

Yours,
Bushie Bush