Who needs the United Nations, anyway? Of what use was the U.N. , when Bush basically steamrolled over Herr Whathisname, and unilaterally invaded and occupied a (curiously oil-rich) country in the Middle East? You *know* those U.N. diplomats are only in it for their nifty NYC parking stickers. To hell with the U.N. My friends, if you really want to learn about how the peace process is conceived and executed - marry outside of your culture.

Here are my empirical research findings from 6 months of being married to a Nice Jewish Boy:

Step 1. The global peace process should begin with China and Israel agreeing to mutual arms disarmament program.

Step 2: To end the conflict over "Who has a longer history?" both countries agree to split the difference between their respective calendar years (5768-4706 = 1062)

Step 3: China agrees to provide Israel with 4,000 years of heartburn inducing Szechuan chicken. The Jews agree to not complain and send their entrees back.

Step 4: Israel agrees to supply China with sub-par discount electronic items. The Chinese agree to not sigh loudly and shamelessly haggle.

Step 5: There will be an exchange of intellectual property. Chinese moms will teach Mossad agents on how to inflict real torture. Israelis will introduce post-Communist China to even worse disco music than the Chinese are accustomed.

Step 6: Both countries agree to uphold their time-honored national policies of guilting their children into grad school.

Step 7: China and Israel must unite against the common enemy that is infiltrating their homelands - Miley Cyrus.